ctl_ioctl.h: Do not use enums for bit fields of flags

C++ does not permit treating enum values as individual bits used with
the bitwise operators. For types that are a mask of flags, switch the
typedef to an unsigned int and use preprocessor macros for flag
constants.

Reviewed by: imp, asomers
Sponsored by: Chelsio Communications
Differential Revision: https://reviews.freebsd.org/D49138